


The Art of Forgetting

by museme87



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-18
Updated: 2011-01-18
Packaged: 2017-10-14 21:15:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/153535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/museme87/pseuds/museme87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Sirius' idea, really, and James goes along with it because he's James. Plans contrived by James Potter and Sirius Black never quite work out as expected, though, especially not with a war going on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Art of Forgetting

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: sexual situations, spanking, foursome
> 
> Inspired by a prompt left over at mp_ldws's Moony and Padfoot's Porny Prompt Drabble Fest at LJ, which concerned Remus/Sirius/Lily/James and their dealing with the war. This is my first attempt at a foursome, so it may be horrible and it may be illogical. But I tried to make it as least horrible and illogical as I could. A big thanks to L for the beta.

Lily loves dancing. Remus loves dancing too. There's just something about being out on the floor, under the lights, getting lost in the beat of the music that speaks to them. They stop feeling like a man and a woman fighting a war and start feeling like two, normal nineteen-year-olds.

James and Sirius both hate dancing. Lily and Remus say that it's because they can't dance, but that's only a half truth. Both of the boys were educated in the fine art of ballroom dance—they _are_ pureblood, aristocratic wizards after all—but the ability to dance like Muggle teenagers in a Muggle club eludes them. The other reason why they hate dancing—or at least claim to hate it—is that it's far more fun watching Lily and Remus dance with one another.

It was as if some sort of unspoken conversation occurred between the four of them in those early days of going to clubs: if James and Sirius weren't going to dance with them, then Remus and Lily were going to dance with each other however they pleased. What was initially perfectly respectful dancing gradually became slower, more sensuous. James and Sirius said nothing.

Sirius watches them out on the floor—Lily's thick, red hair swaying as Remus moves her against his hips—and takes a long drink of beer, hoping the chill will both cool his throat and his desire. He thinks he shouldn't be watching Remus and Lily like this, shouldn't be getting so turned on by some stupid dance. Lily is James' girl, he reminds himself. Somehow though, recalling that little detail doesn't soften his half-hard cock any.

"They're gorgeous together," he says, barely registering that he's said it out loud.

James' eyes snap to him, and for a moment Sirius is certain he's going to punch him. He doesn't though. Instead James' eyes travel to Lily and Remus, and he sighs the sigh of a resigned man.

"Fucking hot," James agrees.

Sirius smirks. "So that's why your knickers aren't in a twist about the two of them dancing together."

"Shut up," he warns, but there is hardly any threat behind his words. "I never heard you complain about it either."

"Why would I? Red's a right catch. Fantastic tits."

"And Moony's got a brilliant arse," James adds.

A moment passes, both of them staring at each other in confusion, before Sirius realizes that he's not the least bit offended that James has (obviously) checked out his boyfriend. And judging from the expression on James' face, he's come to a similar conclusion about Sirius' remarks.

But it _shouldn't_ have come to a surprise to either of them. They've gone on the pull together, checked out girls (and the occasional bloke) together, and there was even that threesome with the Head Girl back in sixth year.

The surprise comes, Sirius supposes, with the fact that they aren't talking about some stranger or some random girl from their school days. This is _Remus_ and _Lily_. James is as good as engaged to the girl, and he and Remus are as good as married themselves. No, Remus and Lily are something sacred, and he and James just discovered that the "line" they have just crossed is not a line at all. It's somehow _okay_ that they appreciate the other's partner.

With some sort of pseudo-permission from James, Sirius lets his thoughts and eyes wander back to the pair on the dance floor. He wonders what it would be like to share Remus with Lily, to be thrusting inside his lover while Lily has her sweet, pink lips wrapped around Remus' cock. Sirius discovers that his formerly half-hard cock is now (painfully) at full attention, effectively confirming just how brilliant such a threesome would be.

He shifts in his seat, trying to ease the strain against his prick, and damns himself for wearing his tight denims tonight. When Remus glances from over Lily's shoulder to meet his eyes, Sirius tries to convey some sort of message to him that he needs to get his arse over here so they can Apparate back to their flat and take care of his little issue. Remus smirks, his hands slipping lower on Lily's back, and makes no move to join him.

"What are you thinking?" James asks.

"Nothing."

"Liar," he says with a snort. "You keep looking at them with your love-sick puppy eyes."

Sirius can't very well tell James the truth; there _is_ a fine line between appreciating Lily's tits and imagining Lily in a three-way with him and Remus. His fantasy can never become a reality. He and James share everything _but_ this. James would no sooner let him borrow Lily than he would let James borrow Remus. Not that Lily and Remus are things to be given and taken; it's simply that neither he nor James would ever consent to opening their relationship that way, even if Lily and Remus were willing. No, the only way Sirius would allow that sort of open relationship is if _he_ were present. And that thought, naturally, gives him the idea.

Sirius turns to James. "Do you want to shag?"

James chokes on the drink he's just swallowed, and Sirius, grimacing, gives his coughing friend a forceful pat on the back.

"What do you mean 'do I want to shag'?" James manages to get out, his eyes wet from choking.

He shrugs. "I mean just that: do you want to shag?"

"But I love Lily."

"And I love Remus." He pauses, realizing that just because people claim he and James share a brain doesn't mean that James can always follow his logic. "I didn't mean me and you," he clarifies, nose scrunched up in distaste. "You don't have much of an arse."

"That didn't seem to stop you from grabbing it constantly back when we were both shagging Gillian Turner that time in sixth year."

"Well it was better than the alternative."

James purses his lips, irritated, and redirects the conversation away from Turner. "What did you mean, then, by us shagging?"

"Us. You, me, Lily, and Remus."

"A foursome?" he asks, his eyebrows raised.

"Don't pretend to be scandalized, Prongs. We've already had a threesome. What's one person more?"

James looks thoughtful for a moment and then shakes his head in disbelief. "You are the only person in the world that could talk about a foursome so casually. 'What's one more'," he mocks, rolling his eyes.

"Look, if you're not interested, just say so."

James directs his attention to Lily and Remus, and Sirius watches him watch them. James' want is clearly written on his face. And Sirius finds himself encouraging James to take in the picture, to think about what he might be able to have with the three of them, to just agree to the fucking proposition already.

"I'll talk to Lily," James says finally.

They're both lucky that they reach an agreement just then because Lily and Remus are approaching. Sirius barely has enough time to process James' words before Remus slips into the seat next to him.

When Lily sits, she quickly brings James' lips to hers, kissing him fully. Sirius has a hard time looking away—thinking about the possibilities for some night to come—and it's only when he feels Remus' hand on his thigh, slipping between his legs, shielded by the table, that Sirius can force his attention elsewhere.

He has to resist a moan when Remus grabs him through his denims but can't seem to stop himself from pushing against Remus' hand. Slowly Sirius turns to Remus, holding his breath, and looks into his eyes. They're more amber than brown tonight, marking the approaching full moon and Remus' growing need for a shag. And by the mischievous glint in Remus' eye, Sirius thinks that he's probably not going to sit right tomorrow. It thrills him.

"What's going on over there?" Lily asks, her head on James' shoulder, her smile knowing.

Remus shrugs, turning to Sirius. "Anything going on over here, Pads?"

"Nothing," he answers, but his voice is just a pinch too high, effectively giving them away.

"Get a room," James mutters. "Shirt-lifters."

"Sounds like a brilliant idea, Prongs," Sirius replies.

Remus stands. "I couldn't agree more. Ready to head out, Padfoot?"

Sirius nods and pulls out some Muggle money to cover their drinks, meanwhile begging his aching cock to heel before he has to stand up. He does eventually find the courage to stand, and they say their goodbyes.

"Don't forget to talk to Moony, yeah?" James says.

Remus looks at him curiously. "Talk to Moony about what?"

"Later, love."

"Sirius—"

"More important things to be tending to just now," Sirius interjects, grabbing Remus' hand and tugging him towards the exit.

~*~

Sirius thinks, as he sinks his head deeper into his pillow, that Remus is trying to kill him. Only, in the best way possible. As Remus bites down gently on his protruding hip bone, he can't stop the whimper from escaping his lips. Sirius loves the way Remus can slowly unravel him piece by piece, making him both want this delicious suffering to ease and not want it to at the same time.

This is _their_ dance—fitfully slow, spontaneous, and sexually charged. And on nights before the full, Sirius willingly restrains himself and let's Remus lead him through every turn. Sometimes the steps are familiar to him and sometimes he's completely lost, but Remus knows what he's doing and Sirius trusts him. While Remus has pushed the boundaries when the moon hangs heavy in the sky, Sirius has never once been dissatisfied and often times finds himself begging for more.

He feels Remus grin against his hip just before Remus plants a delightful little kiss lower, inching his way towards Sirius' straining cock. Reaching down, Sirius cards his fingers through soft, light brown hair, hoping to encourage Remus lower still.

A lock of hair brushes lightly against his cock, his breath hitching. He's going to go mad, he thinks, as Remus wraps a hand around his thigh, spreading him open. Sirius never thought he would like to be so exposed, so easily accessible—legs spread wide, arm laying wantonly near his head—but he _craves_ it like a drug. It makes the sensations inside of him unbearable sometimes—unable to see what's coming, unable to prepare himself, never knowing how close the wolf is to the surface.

From the window, a cool breeze slips across his skin—his nipples hardening, punctuating his urgent need.

"Love, I—"

Suddenly, Remus' hand comes down hard on the flesh of his thigh, and the buzzing pinpricks beneath his skin concentrate before spreading out again. Sirius cries out, the stinging echoing right to his core, and his interest suddenly takes a sharp turn. While he wouldn't mind Remus' mouth on him, sucking him and taking him deep into his throat, Sirius yearns for those pinpricks again, and he thinks he could come by them alone.

"If you're going to do it, pet, do it properly, yeah?"

He watches Remus' eyes light up at the idea. Shifting, Remus is no longer between Sirius' legs but sitting on his own, his prick bobbing against his stomach.

"And why should I?"

This is all part of the game; Sirius knows that. Remus isn't about to deny him a thorough spanking, not when he gets so much enjoyment out of it. But it's fun and fucking hot to voice the words themselves, and Remus loves dirty talk just as much as he does.

"Because I deserve it," Sirius explains, propping himself up on his elbows.

And Remus is moving quickly up his body, holding himself above Sirius, their faces so close. "Keep going."

"The things I've been thinking…"

Sirius closes his eyes and opens them slowly, biting down on his lower lip. It's a look that always gets to Remus—makes him melt, makes him moan. And Sirius wants Remus to want him.

Remus leans in, lips against Sirius' ear, and whispers, "Tell me, Sirius."

"When I watch you and Lily dance—Ah!" He hisses, Remus' fingers pinching his nipple. "I…I want you. The both of you. Together—" A whimper, this time from a brush against the overly sensitive nub. "Want to watch her suck you, love, while I'm fucking you."

Remus lowers his head to Sirius' shoulder, his breathing becoming heavier with want. "God, that's what you think about?"

"Not just that. James is there too. It's the four of us. That's what I've been thinking."

Suddenly, Sirius is on his back and joining Remus in a crushing kiss. Running his fingers through Sirius' long hair, Remus' tongue slips past his lips, effectively parting them and exploring his mouth. Remus swallows Sirius' moans, one after another.

When they break, Sirius' lips feel swollen and are likely a bright red. Remus begins to trail kisses along his cheek and down his neck. Sirius shifts, exposing more of that tender flesh to Remus, wanting to be claimed by him. And Remus does, his teeth biting down hard enough that he makes Sirius gasp.

"You're mine."

It's not a question nor does it leave room for argument; it's a simple fact, and one that Sirius would never try to deny.

"Always yours, Moony."

"I can't have you thinking of anyone else." Remus looks at him, the smile on his lips devilish. "You'll have to be taught a lesson, you know."

Sirius whimpers, anticipating his boyfriend's next words.

"On your hands and knees, Sirius."

Quickly, he scrambles to assume position, his cock slipping against the fabric of the sheets in the shuffle and making him hiss. But he wants _this_ more, he reminds himself when he feels that momentary, blissful friction.

Sirius waits—arse up, chilly breeze cooling his over-warm body—as Remus shifts behind him. Seconds slip by and there's nothing , only the stillness of the bed. Sirius wonders what Remus is waiting for and finds his insides coiling up tightly in anticipation.

Fingers brush against one arse cheek—a gentle caress. His thighs twitch from the touch, expecting one thing and getting another.

"You're gorgeous like this," Remus whispers.

"Remus, please, love, I ca—Aaah!"

His insides twist up tighter than he thought possible, the sweet burning spreading across his flesh.

"For your begging."

"More."

He hears the slap before he feels the pinpricks, his skin momentarily numb. It hurts worse this time, but Sirius isn't sure what hurts more—his arse or the gathering sensation in his cock. As Remus' hand comes down on him again—and Gods, the moan that comes from his own throat—Sirius wants to see Remus' face.

Another two strikes and Sirius' knees are buckling, spreading his legs further part. His arse grows steadily hotter and number except for that moment of contact, but Sirius is less concerned about that and more concerned with how his cock is reacting. He aches for touch, for relief, for _anything_ at this point. But Remus won't give it to him. And Sirius is going to come like some sort of teenager.

"Do you want more, Sirius?"

"Yes," he whimpers.

Remus delivers the blow, and this time Sirius shifts to meet him—the stinging that much worse, the pressure in his cock rising. Another, and he moans. Another, and he begs for it harder, faster. Another, and he's so close that he can't even strangle a sound from his throat. And another, and Sirius feels the wetness in his eyes. It hurts and it's too much and it's _everything_.

"I'm going to…just…again, love," he pants.

He hears Remus whisper, but his pulse is pumping so loudly in his ears that he can't make out the words. But then he feels it—lubrication. And before he can make a move to prepare himself, Remus grabs his hips and buries himself deep with him, hitting Sirius' prostate.

The pressure suddenly breaks, and Sirius feels it everywhere—in his veins, in his belly, in his cock. It's a rush, a sensation overload. He's drowning for sure, or falling, or something. It doesn't matter what because he's dying; he's dying and it's going to be with Remus inside of him. Sirius thinks, just before he remembers to start breathing again, that that's just the way he wants to go.

Collapsing forward, Sirius rides out the aftershocks of his orgasm, chest rising and falling heavily, as Remus thrusts frantically within him. Once more then twice, and Sirius feels Remus come inside him. He doesn't think that will ever get old as long as he lives.

Remus lets himself fall gracelessly next to Sirius, and Sirius moves to give his aching legs a rest. They lay there in silence, grey eyes lazily staring into brown, the sounds of the street below filling their room. Slowly, Remus brings his fingers to Sirius barely-shoulder-length hair and brushes it.

He smirks. "You're a slag."

Sirius chuckles, reaching for Remus' hand and threading their fingers together. "Only for you, love."

"I like it when you say that."

"What? When I say I'm yours?"

Remus nods sheepishly. "Yeah."

"I'm yours," he repeats, lifting his head to punctuate the statement with a quick kiss. "Forever. Or for as long as you'll have me."

"Keep me coming like that and you won't have to worry about going anywhere for a while," Remus teases, getting out of bed.

Sirius watches as Remus walks to the bathroom to start his nightly ritual—shower, brush teeth, floss, grab a glass of water. He's a creature of habit, that one. And certainly not one for much pillow talk. It embarrasses him to hear all the things that Sirius has to say to him, and so he hurries off.

Not bothering to dress for bed, Sirius casts a quick cleaning charm on the sheets and burrows beneath them, impossibly tired. He'll fall asleep before Remus gets back, but he's made peace with that. After all, he'll wake up with him in his arms.

~*~

It's nearly eleven by the time Sirius unlocks the door to his and Remus' flat and slips inside. Tonight is pub-crawl night, but his heart wasn't in it, not when Remus was at home recovering from a bad transformation.

Remus, Sirius finds, is not in bed like he promised to be, but instead curled up, asleep, in their oversized armchair like a little kid. He can't quite suppress a smile at the sight. Pulling off his jacket and hanging it up on the coat rack next to the door, Sirius quietly pads his way to the chair and sits on its edge. For a second, he simply stares at Remus, wondering how he got so lucky to find a bloke like him. It's possible that he could watch the slow rise and fall of Remus' chest for hours, or memorize the perfect shape of his lips or the length of his almost-golden eye lashes.

But, Sirius has difficultly staying still and reaches out to brush Remus' cheek. Remus scrunches up his nose at the contact, hanging in the limbo of not-quite-awake. It's adorable when he does that, and one of the first things that Sirius loved about waking up next to him day after day.

Sirius moves his hand from cheek to shoulder, nudging him gently. As much as Remus needs to sleep to heal, he'll be in an even worse way if he stays curled up like this.

"Moony," Sirius whispers, nudging him once more.

One eye cracks open, and Remus shifts slightly. "Time is it?" he asks, sleepily.

"Eleven."

"You're back early."

Sirius removes the book clutched in Remus' hands and places it on the nearby end table. "Wasn't much fun without you. I'd rather be here playing your nursemaid. Not in the sexy way, of course. But maybe when you're feeling up to it." He wiggles his eyebrows with the suggestion.

"I like it when you're my student better," he says, yawning and snuggling back into the chair.

"Mmm," Sirius hums, bringing his lips to Remus' ear. "I know you do, Professor Lupin, sir."

Remus smiles at that, a sweet little smile that is far more innocent than the thoughts he's thinking, no doubt. He appears to be falling back asleep, the smile slowly fading, but Sirius can't have that.

"Come on, love, it's time for bed."

"Already asleep," he mutters.

"No, in a proper bed. Your back will be killing you in the morning if you stay like this."

Knowing full well that Remus is beyond cooperating with him, Sirius throws one of Remus' limp arms around his neck and puts one of his own arms around Remus' waist, then lifts. Immediately, Remus tenses, taking a sharp breath.

"Alright?"

Remus shakes his head, still holding his breath.

"I'll get you a potion for the pain then. Do you want me to carry you to bed first?"

He exhales slowly. "No, I can manage."

Remus can't manage. Not very well, at least. He leans heavily against Sirius and limps the entire way to the bedroom. Sirius damns him for his stubbornness; he would have been more than happy to carry him, but Remus hates appearing weak, even in front of him after all these years. So, he soldiers on despite the fact that it's likely doing more harm than good. And if the pain doesn't get better in a couple more days, Sirius is going to force him to go to St. Mungo's for it. Remus never has taken care of himself properly when left to his own devices.

Slowly, Sirius helps ease Remus into their bed. He reaches to pull off Remus' very worn, white tee shirt—and honestly, the thing needs tossed in the rubbish bin, but Remus loves it too much to part with it—but Remus stops him, reminding him that he's not an invalid. Tonight, Sirius begs to differ. But obediently, he goes to retrieve the pain potion, returning in a matter of a minute.

Remus drinks the potion eagerly when Sirius brings it to him, and he'll likely fall asleep soon after. These potions always have that sort of effect on him. Sirius sets to work stripping himself naked—a sleeping habit that Remus once bemoaned but later found to be most enjoyable—while Remus lies down.

"Pads?" Remus calls, his eyes already shut in anticipation for sleep.

The mattress sags beneath Sirius' weight. "Hmm?"

"The other night. What you said. Do you remember?"

When Remus gets tired, he tends to become drastically less coherent. No, Sirius doesn't quite remember. He's said a lot of things over the past few days, and without much more to go on, he can't really elaborate on the point.

"No, love."

"About the thing. You know, with Prongs and Lily."

Sirius remembers—and it's almost a surprise. It was intended as a means to get Remus hot, and he all but forgot that he _did_ broach the subject with his boyfriend after all. If he said he wasn't nervous to hear what Remus has to say, he would be a liar.

"Yeah, what about it?"

Remus rolls over on his side and opens his eyes just enough for Sirius to make out the deep brown. "Were you serious?"

Sirius thinks for a long moment about how he wants to word this. Remus can be very sensitive—or rather, _he_ can be extremely insensitive—sometimes.

"Depends. Are you okay with me being serious about it?"

"That depends on if you're serious about it."

"You're talking in circles, love."

Remus closes his eyes, and Sirius watches him in silence. He's thinking, not sleeping. And after a minute drags on, Sirius doesn't think he wants to know Remus' opinion on the matter. In fact, he's quickly regretting ever propositioning James or Remus in the first place. It's a stupid idea—just like that time in the corridor in 2nd year, or that pumpkin juice prank in 4th year, or everything he ever did in the beginning of 5th year, and especially _that_ in 6th year. Yes, this is just one more thing to add to the list of Stupid Shit Sirius Has Pulled That Almost Cost Him Remus.

"I love you," he says quickly, grabbing Remus' hand. "I love you, and you don't have to say yes. I won't hold it against you. It's probably a stupid idea anyway, and—"

"There would have to be rules."

His heart stops for a moment, Remus' response entirely unexpected. Sirius replays the words over in his head once more, making sure that he _did_ hear correctly, that Remus is up for it.

"Yeah, of course. Name your rules. Anything you like."

"Between the four of us, I mean. I don't want to do anything that's going to make anyone uncomfortable."

Sirius lifts up and kisses Remus forehead. "Right."

When Sirius feels Remus' lips on his neck and then his teeth on his flesh, Sirius knows there is something that is not quite right about the scenario. Remus doesn't mark him without reason, and Sirius worries that, by propositioning Remus, he may have unintentionally pressed one of Remus' biggest insecurities—inadequacy. But by the time Sirius figures out what to say to reassure him that he's more than adequate, Remus is already fast asleep.

~*~

Just as Sirius is washing the shampoo out of his hair, he hears the door to the bathroom open and smiles a bit to himself. He has promised Remus a shag after dinner, but it seems like he's not eager to wait. The shower curtain is pulled open behind him, and Sirius looks over his shoulder. What he finds, however, makes him nearly slip in the shower.

"The fuck, Prongs?!"

James rolls his eyes. "Curry's here. Moony said you were still making yourself gorgeous for us."

"Couldn't you have sent Moony in here to relay the message then? Wanker."

"If I sent Moony in, the both of you wouldn't have come out for another half hour. Lily and I would like to eat sometime tonight. Besides," he says, gesturing towards Sirius' arse, "it's nothing I haven't seen before."

"Or wanked over."

James shuts the shower curtain. "In your dreams maybe."

Sirius shuts off the water and steps out of the bath just as James is shutting the door. He quickly dries off, shoves his legs into his demins, and pulls a tee over his head. With a swipe of his hand Sirius clears a path on the mirror —and Remus will kill him for the handprint smudges later—and looks at his reflection.

"Look a bit like a wet dog, mate," he says to himself. "Can't have that."

Picking up his wand from the sink, he mutters a quick drying spell on his hair, as Blacks do not go out in public—not even if said public is their friends and boyfriend—with wet hair. Uncle Alphard explained to him early on that it was just one of those things you do after marriage—women stop making up their faces, men start having affairs, Blacks let their significant other see them with wet hair. With the exception of shared showers, naturally. But, Sirius figures he's the only one in his family having shower sex anyway.

 

Dinner is a bit awkward tonight, which Sirius attributes to the Hippogriff in the room. The foursome has already been agreed upon, but they have yet to really talk about it as a group. As Sirius takes another bite of curry, he wonders how one exactly goes about bringing up that subject. _So about that foursome…_ sounds utterly ridiculous, and yet there isn't much else he really _can_ say. Thankfully, Remus does it for him.

"I was thinking we ought to address rules," he begins, a little hesitantly. "Pads and I thought it might be a good idea to have some."

Sirius places his hand on Remus' knee beneath the table and casts him an encouraging look. Remus smiles a bit sheepishly in return and places his hand on top of Sirius'.

"Yeah, good idea," James agrees. "Say…one each?"

"Well that's an easy pick," Lily announces, a smile tugging at her red painted lips. "My rule is, 'Lily is the first to come and comes several times afterwards."

James stares a Lily for the briefest of seconds and then bursts into laughter. And a moment later, Lily is joining him. It is a rather saucy sort of rule, and an admirable pick at that, but Sirius wonders if she's really taking this as seriously as she should.

"That's really your rule?" Sirius asks.

Lily nods. "That's really my rule. I imagine a couple of fit blokes like yourselves shouldn't have a problem with that."

James gives Lily a sloppy kiss on the lips. "Brilliant, my girl is."

"And you, Prongs? Have anything in mind?"

"Another simple choice, Padfoot: no one sticks anything up James' arse."

Apparently James and Lily _don't_ think this is a big deal. He wonders if he and Remus have been over thinking things, whether the discussions they recently had about what was to be preserved were ridiculous.

Sirius gives Remus' hand a squeeze to tell him to go next, and Remus quickly diverts his eyes to his lap when his mouth opens.

"We can't shag near the full moon," he states quietly.

So startled he nearly flinches, Sirius wonders what happened to Remus' first choice—the choice he made days ago and never mentioned changing. His request isn't a bad one by any means; it's even practical. But, Sirius knows that it's not what he wanted.

Remus' brown eyes find his grey, the light expression on his face forced. Sirius hates how Remus is governed by necessity instead of desire, and he makes a quick decision.

"And I don't think we should pair off. So as bad as you want me to yourself Prongs, you're going to have to take the three of us."

"Sirius…"

Remus' fingers curl around his hand tightly, painfully. With a shrug, Sirius dismisses Remus' protest. Yes, he changed his mind at last minute—but Remus did too—and yes, that was originally Remus' rule before he decided to pick something else. But it was so fucking important to Remus that they not pair off, and Sirius can't let him give that up because he needs to protect James and Lily from the wolf's pre-moon jealousy. Sirius' own rule seemed to pale in importance anyway.

"So it's settled then?" James asks, and Sirius can tell it's a roundabout way to inquire whether he and Remus are okay.

Remus opens his mouth. "I—"

"It's fine, Prongs. Rules are set."

Sirius doesn't have to look at Remus to know he's frowning. Nor does he have to be a genius to know he's going to get an earful—and perhaps no shag—because of this move that Remus disapproves of. Remus won't understand that Sirius did it because he loves him, and he most certainly won't believe that Sirius changed his mind because it's important to him too.

~*~

It's three days before their set date when the plan suddenly changes. The Order needs them, and the Order comes first. When the assignments are handed out on scraps of parchment, they all share a look. They won't be working this mission together, which is a first in their relatively short career as rebels. And not only will they not be working together, but they'll be separated for a month.

So they separate with a promise: they'll all meet back at Sirius' and Remus' flat on October 10th.

~*~

Sirius realizes miserably, as he Apparates to the flat, that he's the first to arrive. Somebody has to be, of course, but he didn't want it to be him. His nerves—nerves that spent the last twenty-nine days on edge—are pushing him towards the brink of insanity, he thinks. He's been worried, unable to think about anything but Remus and James and Lily, about whether they're okay or whether they're…worse than okay.

His nerves bring about an itching—a yearning – for a fag. Unable to sit still anyway, he rushes about the flat in search for a stray pack. In luck, he finds one in Remus' bedside table drawer. Sirius lights it with a snap of his fingers near its tip and takes a long, much needed drag. The nicotine hits him, slowly taking that extra edge off.

Momentarily content, Sirius lets himself fall backwards, flat on the bed, and watches the ceiling fan spin around and around. He avoids the pictures that Remus hung on the walls when they first moved in together because avoiding them prevents his mind from wandering to bad places. Not the good kind of bad places that would come from any number of fantastic photos he has hidden away, but the bad kind of bad places. The kind of places that would bring tears to his eyes if he went there. So he won't.

It's half nine, and Sirius wonders how long it'll be before his chest stops aching like someone has run his heart through with a sword.

 

Four cigarettes later, it's just after ten, and there's a crack of Apparition from the living room. Sirius scrambles to get up, to run and see who has—not "made it" because that's _not_ going to be the case—but who has just arrived.

Stepping out of the bedroom, he walks down the corridor to the living room, and there next to the coffee table stands James. Something is off; Sirius can tell by the way James holds himself—arms crossed, shoulders slumped, not at all the picture of confidence that he so often paints. What is off in particular though, Sirius can't discern at first. It's not anything deadly serious—James wouldn't be so calm if it was—but it's big enough to bring about a change in him, that much Sirius is certain.

"James?"

At the sound of his given name, James sighs and lets his body drop limply onto the sofa. Sirius watches him closely, drawing another cigarette from the pack he's stashed in his pocket and lighting it up. Dragging, Sirius sits next to James, then removes the cigarette from between his lips and offers it to him.

"Anything a fag can fix?"

James takes it from him. "Couldn't hurt."

"Want to talk about it?"

With a miserable sort of chuckle, James slouches forward, elbows on thighs and head hanging. Sirius hesitates for a moment, waiting to see if James is going to answer him or not, and then claps him on the back.

"It can't be that bad, mate."

Sirius knows better, but it seems like the proper thing to say. It'll either reassure James that he can speak up or make him so bloody pissed off that he'll shout out his troubles anyway. For the past eight years, this method of extraction has served Sirius so well that it's practically fool proof.

"A couple days ago I watched a man die in my arms."

Sirius' brows furrow. "Oh, fuck, James."

"He was just a stranger. Some random Muggle that had been attacked by the Lestranges." He shrugs. "I didn't know it could hurt this much."

Biting his lower lip, Sirius tries to resist the urge to tell him that it hurts like this and so much more. While he doesn't press James for more details—when did it happen? where?—Sirius wonders if James has had the nightmares yet, whether he's dreamed of Lily in place of that dying man.

For weeks after Sirius watched a young girl die in his own arms, he imagined it had been Remus instead. Remus' body shivering because of a fatal wound. Remus sobbing in those last moments before his eyes faded into blankness. Remus' blood all over his shirt and trousers. Remus' cries of "I don't want to die". It was Sirius' own self-inflicted hell, and he woke up in a cold sweat night after night.

"How do you make it go away, Pads?"

"You just…try to forget."

"And did that work for you?"

When Sirius woke up from his nightmares, he would quickly wake Remus. Sirius needed to feel his warmth, examine his chest for a stab wound, plead with Remus to never do anything reckless, and sometimes sob against his shoulder and whisper that he can't live without him. It wasn't the words that followed that eased Sirius' mind or quelled the ache in his heart, but the feel of Remus' hands on his skin and lips on his mouth. If it hadn't been for Remus' willingness to make love to him night after night, reassuring him as he moved within Sirius that he would never leave him, Sirius knows he probably would have gone mad from watching that girl die.

Maybe it's the way James turns to look at him, his hazel eyes slightly wet, or maybe it's something else entirely, but Sirius moves nearer to him. James looks at him strangely, yet not reproachfully, and that's apparently all Sirius needs to know before he places one hand on James' chin and pulls him into a kiss.

It's not a Moony-kiss—no one will be able to fill him so entirely with such a simple brush of the lips. But his stomach still drops, like he's on one of those Muggle roller coasters. Yes, his friendship with James is just like that, with twists and turns and speed and adrenaline and sudden, unexpected drops like this. But _this_ isn't all together unfamiliar. They've kissed before, though that was a time during the "before Lily and Remus" period of their lives.

James is an excellent kisser—his lips supple, his manner confident. There is still a bit of hesitance when their lips meet again and again. Sirius flicks his tongue and James parts his lips as if it is the most natural thing in the world. As Sirius slips inside his mouth, meeting his tongue, he hopes that James is forgetting, at least a little bit. Sirius knows that he is.

It's partially because of that forgetting that Sirius doesn't hear the Apparition crack; he's too busy running his fingers through James' unruly hair and slowly inching James onto his back. Similarly, James is eagerly pulling Sirius closer to him, hand on the nape of Sirius' neck, and toying with the leather belt around Sirius' waist.

"You could've at least put up the Anti-Apparation ward."

Sirius' eyes widen. "Oh, _fuck_."

As if he's been burned, Sirius recoils from James and whips his head around to look at Remus. Remus looks slightly stunned, but not altogether angry. Though perhaps a little hurt.

"I'm so sorry, love."

Remus opens his mouth to speak, but before he can even get a word out, there is another crack. The fates are seriously out to bugger him tonight, Sirius thinks. Lily, appearing near Remus, covers her mouth as her eyes fall on a disheveled Sirius and James, on a hurt looking Remus. Now it's James' turn to stumble through a series of apologies. However before he gets more than an "I fucked up" out, something rather unexpected happens.

Slipping his hand around Lily's waist, Remus pulls her to him and kisses her full on the mouth, perhaps to simply get back at James and Sirius. Sirius' heart pangs at the sight—his gorgeous Moony lip-locked with James' girl. And by the looks of things, Lily is eager to return the kiss, her pink lips taking Remus' bottom lip between them, sucking.

As Remus leans into her, Lily wraps one arm around his neck and another around his waist, her hand dipping low to grab his arse. Sirius resists the urge to instruct Lily on what to do next, resists the urge to tell her to slip her fingers beneath Remus' trousers or suck the pads of his fingers. And at once, Sirius knows that this has progressed past the point of no return. Somehow, this foursome is happening tonight.

Sirius thinks that he could watch Remus and Lily wrapped around each other forever, that he might be able to come in his trousers with just the thought of Remus and Lily taking things one step further. This really shouldn't be so fucking hot.

"Sirius."

He'll never know how he pulls his eyes away from Remus and Lily, but he does just in time to watch James straddle him in his sitting position. Hazel eyes are blown wide, and Sirius somehow finds the courage to look down to see James cock pressing against the confines of his denims. Sirius looks up again; apparently he's not the only one enjoying the show. And apparently, James is willing to use this as an opportunity to forget.

As James' teeth find the lobe of his ear, his hand finds the bulged crotch of Sirius' own denims. Sirius sucks in sharply with initial contact, and then let's out one long, low moan as James begins to touch him.

"Bloody hell," Remus curses, drawing Sirius' attention away from James and back to him.

Sirius sees the need in Remus' eyes, the sheer want pulsating through every fiber of his being. It shouldn't come to much of a surprise either. After all, James was Remus' first (unrequited) love, so it seems only natural that Remus would enjoy the view. Hell, this—him and James snogging each other senseless—was probably a fantasy of his at one point.

As Remus turns to look away from the two of them—perhaps in embarrassment by how much he's getting turned on by this—Sirius quickly stops him.

"Don't, Moony."

Brown eyes find his own again. "Sirius, I…"

"What, love? Don't you---ahh!" Sirius lifts his hips to meet James' hand inside his denims. "Gods, James."

"Brilliant, isn't he?" Lily asks, her smile just a bit wicked. "You should see the two of you together."

"Something you want to share, Red?"

Lily shrugs. "There were a lot of rumors going around the girls' dorm about you and James. I can't deny that the two of you together weren't some girls' fantasies."

James removes his mouth from Sirius' neck and halts his stroking. "Lily?"

"I maybe have counted myself among them," she answers.

For all that he tries, James can't bite back his grin as he stands. "Get over here, you minx."

As Lily unwraps her arms from Remus and quickly runs to James, throwing herself into his arms and his kiss, Sirius takes a moment to look at his lover. Remus appears to be enjoying himself, if his cock is any evidence, but there's something off too. With a quick glance, Remus looks out the window to the moon, and Sirius understands.

"Just say the safe word, love, and this stops," Sirius promises.

"I want this. I just…"

"The moon?" James asks, having halted his advancements on Lily.

Remus nods, blushing. "I sort of—"

"Have alpha male tendencies," Sirius provides.

"Are you going to be okay with this?" James' voice is more concerned than fearful.

Remus waves him off. "Fine. Just give me a minute to get used to this. Go on."

Sirius gazes at him for one long moment, trying to decide if he's being honest or otherwise. And as much as he worries, Sirius thinks it's all for naught. Remus _does_ appear to be okay, and it's still early enough in the cycle that he should still have a good degree of control over the wolf within.

Just as he's about the mouth an "I love you" for reassurance, Sirius finds Lily's bright green eyes staring up at him, the back of her head against his chest. A smile breaks his lips; Lily looks too excited for whatever is about to come. And by the looks of things, 'whatever is about to come' is Lily sandwiched between him and James.

For the sake of comfort, they all do a bit of shifting—Sirius against the arm of the sofa, Lily leaned against him, and James at the other end between her legs. Lily resumes staring up at him, lips slightly parted, and Sirius isn't sure what she finds so fascinating about him. He's only able to come to two conclusions: either she's always fancied him and has been excellent at hiding it, or she's trying to seduce him. If it's the second, Lily's not doing a bad job.

Her eyes close and she moans, James running his hands down the inside of her thighs. Sirius watches as she parts her legs further for James. Pressing the palm of his hand between her thighs, James stares as Lily wriggles upon it as he massages her, pleases her, causes her breath to quicken.

"James, please."

"Banish them?"

She nods. "Banish them."

In less than a second, James has her trousers banished, leaving her in a pair of tiny, lacy, pink knickers. They're dead sexy, Sirius thinks, and the pale pink goes beautifully with her creamy skin. It's been so long since he's been with a girl that he nearly forgot how utterly gorgeous they can look in just knickers. Not that Remus doesn't look good in his knickers, he thinks, but it's different with girls.

So caught up in the sudden longing for Lily—or of girls in general—Sirius runs his palm down her cotton-covered belly to the pink lace and stops the moment he feels the wetness seeped into the fabric. His breath hitches and denims tighten. Briefly, he looks to James for the okay to proceed—he doesn't want to overstep any lines—and gets his consent. It's all Sirius needs, and he dips his fingers between her folds, the fabric of her knickers providing a barrier between flesh and flesh.

"Sirius," she whimpers.

Lowering his mouth to her ear, he takes in a deep breath, the scent of her shampoo filling him. Feeling a little intoxicated by sheer want, Sirius moans into her ear, and Lily makes a sweet little noise in response. It all feels so wonderful, and he wonders why he was never attracted to Lily before.

James' fingers brush against his, drawing Sirius' attention away from Lily just briefly to his partner-in-crime. As he sees James slip his fingers beneath the waist of her knickers, Sirius removes his own from Lily, and James pulls them down her slender legs.

Discarding them quickly, James lowers himself onto his stomach and begins to pepper kisses along Lily's thighs. She's brings one hand to James' hair, carding her fingers through short, black locks, encouraging him onwards.

Since James seems to have laid claim to Lily's lowers, Sirius mutters his own banishing spell, ridding Lily of her shirt. The tops of her breasts entice him—beautifully rounded and full. Sirius would have never guessed that Lily is as busty as she is; her shirts hide her breasts well.

James has his nose buried in Lily's red curls before Sirius can slip the strap off her shoulder, and Lily raises her hips to further the contact. The whole thing is rather brilliant, Sirius thinks, because Lily is stunning and James is pretty fit himself. He never really considered them in that way before tonight, but he's glad he has.

Sirius wastes no time slipping her bra off now that James holds her full attention. Her breasts heave under James touch, and she's making such fucking amazing noises that Sirius has to pause for a moment to keep from losing it altogether.

Lily's breasts are rather fantastic, big enough to fit comfortably in his palm with hard, dusty pink nipples. They're soft in his hand, her skin wonderfully smooth and warm if a bit sweat slickened. Again he feels that longing—the one he hasn't realized before tonight—to be with a girl again—what with their graceful curves and heavy breasts and sweet wetness.

As Sirius takes one sensitive nub between his thumb, Lily gasps and furrows her brow as if concentrating solely on the sensations he and James are causing her.

"Like that?"

She nods vigorously but doesn't utter a word. Rather, Lily holds her breath, her fingers twisting into James' hair now, and Sirius wonders if she's close to coming. James' tongue is quite legendary according to rumors, and he certainly was never in want of girls. Sirius only hopes he can do his part in Lily's pleasure. It has been awhile after all.

Sirius brings his other hand to her neglected breast and massages it between pinches and thumbing. From the way Lily is now writhing between them, her moans of "James" and "Sirius", Sirius thinks she's nearly there. He puts his mouth to her neck, careful to place it directly on her pulse point, and sucks greedily. Remus adores it, but by the way Lily has used her free hand to relocate his mouth to hers, he discovers that Lily isn't as big of a fan.

Her lips are soft, not chapped like James', and taste of strawberry lip balm. Lily's a good kisser too, but still not Moony. Her lips are just a bit too supple for his taste, though he's in no way eager to stop the passionate, frenzied kisses solely for that. She slips her tongue against the part of his lips and he opens for her. Tongues dance around one another. Releasing her grip from James' hair, Lily's long nails scrape against Sirius' scalp, and they're pushing deeper, deeper until he's swallowing her whimpers and cries. And she's coming, coming, and Sirius opens his eyes and breaks from her lips just to watch her face in ecstasy.

"You're gorgeous, Red," he whispers in her ear as she's riding out the last of the waves.

James surfaces, pink cheeked, and Lily brings her hand to James' jaw, running her thumb across his damp, lower lip. Sirius thinks they're sharing a private sort of moment, eyes focused on one another. And feels like the sudden third wheel, despite the fact that he was very much a part of this. But as soon as he considers looking away, he feels James lips on his.

They taste of musk and something much more raw in nature, of Lily herself. Sirius finds it both interesting and perhaps a bit unpleasant. It certainly doesn't taste like Remus—salty and heady. But Sirius dives into James mouth anyway, eager to get a fuller taste of it just to be sure.

"Sirius."

James backs off at the sound of Remus' voice, strong and even. To Sirius' well trained ears, it's a command that brooks no argument; Remus wants him and wants him now. Sirius can't pretend that his demands don't electrify him.

"Do budge over, love," he says, tapping Lily on the shoulder.

As Lily sits up, pressed against James, Sirius slides from the sofa, though not without an uncomfortable wince. His cock most certainly doesn't appreciate the movement, and Sirius knows that something needs to be done to it soon.

Walking across the room to Remus, Sirius undoes the buttons of his shirt and quickly discards it in the middle of the floor. Remus, pleased, holds out a hand, which Sirius takes, twinning their fingers together. Their bodies meet, Sirius pressing into Remus until he can feel him entirely.

Sirius mouths, 'you called?', and his boyfriend looks so utterly happy with himself that Sirius can't help but be happy too. He gives this to Remus because it's important to their relationship, to Remus, to him. Remus, ever insecure, needs to know that Sirius would leave the arms of anyone for him only.

His eyes are blown wide, pre-moon amber swirled in deep brown. Sirius knows he would be content gazing into them forever, their beauty and exoticness enrapturing. It's one of the many physical things about Remus that will always keep him.

Taking his index finger, Remus traces a line down Sirius' bare chest, from collarbone to the trail of dark hair that disappears at his trousers. Sirius takes in a sharp breath as Remus' finger travels lower still, his stomach caving with the touch. As Remus reaches the length of his painfully hard cock, trailing from root to tip through his denims, Sirius can feel himself starting to come undone.

Remus, apparently reading his mind, announces, "Bedroom."

 

They step through the threshold of their bedroom, James and Lily not far behind, and Remus pushes Sirius against the wall in an instant, pining Sirius' hands above his head with a hand of his own. With his other, Remus undoes the zips to Sirius' denims and draws out his length.

The feel of Remus hand around him sends pleasant shivers up his spine, blissful tingling gathering in his lower stomach. Sirius gasps when Remus runs his thumb across his come-slicked head and feels himself go weak in the knees.

"Moony, love."

Remus moves against him, his teeth finding Sirius' neck. Sirius moans with the contact. It's the pleasure and pain that gets him; his body not knowing which is which and how to respond appropriately to either.

"Tell me what you want," Remus whispers.

Sirius wants so badly to ask Remus to bury himself within him, but stops when he recalls that they're not alone. Glancing over at James and Lily, Sirius finds them alternating between staring at him and Remus and doing a fair amount of snogging.

The sight of Lily standing starkers in James' arms brings about a certain degree of unwanted feelings within Sirius. She's terribly beautiful, and he wants to have her. It feels like a betrayal at first; he and Moony enjoy their relationship like a couple of newlyweds—madly in love, irrationally devoted, and utterly completed. It's wrong of him to want someone else.

And that's probably why he presses against Remus, why he dips his tongue between Remus' lips. Remus' taste is divine and so wonderfully him. Sirius doesn't want Lily enough that he'd risk never feeling, never tasting, Remus again. And Sirius understands with perfect clarity that this is a one night thing. One night to have fun, to experiment, to flirt with the forbidden. But that's it, and Sirius will accept it.

"I love you," he whispers to Remus. "But maybe we should include Prongs and Red in this, yeah?"

Remus looks at him as if he's suddenly remembering some very important detail, before turning to Lily and James. "Sorry about that."

Sirius slings him thumbs in the waist of his denims, sliding them off his hips where they fall into a puddle at his feet. Here, he stands starkers. Catching Lily diverting her eyes, her cheeks flushed, Sirius can't hold back a self-satisfied smirk.

He turns to Remus, "Kiss James."

"What?" Remus asks, as if it's the most ridiculous request in the world.

Sirius brings his and Remus' lips together once more. While he has Remus distracted, Sirius inches Remus' shirt up his stomach to his chest. They break here long enough for Sirius to pull it over his boyfriend's head. With a smile, Sirius gives Remus a little push towards James.

He understands the hesitant looks Remus gives him. For so long James was unattainable to Remus, despite how utterly he wanted him. And now to have that opportunity creates a certain surrealism for him. Sirius also can't help but wonder if Remus is seeking some sort of permission from him as well. The forbidden fruit is always the sweetest, Remus once lectured to him, and Sirius isn't sure that Remus wants to tempt himself. But he _should_. And nothing will come of it anyway. _They're_ in love—him and Remus. Sirius trusts that.

"Kiss him, James," Sirius commands. "He used to wank to the thought."

James turns to Remus. "You fancied me?"

"Maybe," Remus admits with a shrug.

It's hard to discern exactly what James is thinking, which is a rare occurrence for Sirius. There's definitely some contemplation there—he can tell by the way James' eyebrows pull and the subtle shift in his lips. And then, James closes the gap between them, placing a hand on the small of Remus' back, and they kiss.

Sirius is floored by the gentleness of it. That's not how he would kiss Remus, and that's not how James would kiss Lily. This is something uniquely James and Remus together. Maybe he shouldn't have been surprised in the least; James is, after all, the one who frets over Remus more than necessary. But it's still strange, and still tender. And it makes Sirius wonder if a part of James didn't fancy Remus all along too.

Once he gets over those first thoughts, Sirius thinks how awkward the two of them look kissing each other. It's a bit laughable really; they're both fumbling over each other. Sirius wonders if he looked that awkward snogging Remus for the first time. Gods, how he hopes not.

As he hears the throaty noises coming from Remus, Sirius knows his boyfriend is safely content in James' arms. Perhaps he should be jealous—and maybe if he really thought about it he _is_. But he doesn't want to think about it because this is not the time for jealousy. It's _okay_ that his best mate and boyfriend are snogging. _Really_.

Jealousy is certainly not the reason why he takes Lily's hand and pulls her towards the bed with him. And it definitely has nothing to do with him dipping her against the soft linens. He's not trying to push the increasingly louder moans from James and Remus out of his mind as he crawls on top of Lily, though he might be if he were jealous. Which he is _not_ , naturally, because he didn't take the time to think about it.

Instead, he thinks of Lily's creamy, freckled-kissed shoulders that slope to ample breasts and curvy sides. Her skin beneath his lips is baby soft, well-cared for. She's smooth and dreamy. Completely wonderful, James' girl is.

"Are you okay?" she whispers.

Sirius nods his reply, his hair falling around his face like a curtain as he lowers his mouth to her breast. Bringing her nipple between his lips, he gives the nub a quick flick with his tongue, and Lily is hissing, bending her legs so her knees rest on his sides. Another flick, another hiss. A swirl, a moan. A nip, a gasp. It's music he thinks—their melody, their song. But not a dance. Sirius doesn't think he can properly dance with this woman in his arms.

Her fingers find his back as he shifts attention from one breast to another, nails digging shallow trenches into his pale flesh. It burns, but not pleasantly. He forgot about long fingernails in his time away from the fairer sex, and it's one painful reminder why he adores Remus as much as he does.

With the thought of Remus, Sirius tries to tune into his lover's voice without detracting too much from lavishing Lily. There are throaty moans and hisses. Only from James. Remus must be… Sirius forces the thought from his mind.

His kisses travel lower, from her breast to down her abdomen. As Sirius sucks at her flesh, marking her, Lily sucks in a breath, whimpers, and says his name breathlessly. It doesn't sound nearly as sexy as it should, he thinks. But it's still enough to keep him hard, keep him wanting.

It's Lily's, "please, Pads," that pulls him from running his tongue along her belly. It's so strange to hear that nickname off her tongue—the first time she's used it—but Sirius is quick to realize that it's the closest form of endearment she can use without crossing some invisible line between the four of them.

Shifting, he crawls back up to her, aligning his body to hers, and presses a kiss to her forehead. She's flush, her skin pink, and she opens her green eyes for him, her want so easily expressed within them. Lily's beautiful like this, pretty as a picture, and it's no wonder why James treasures her as he does. She's deserving of it.

Sirius takes himself into hand and guides himself to her opening. She gasps at the initial contact—a good gasp or a bad one he can't be sure. But Lily isn't stopping him, so he pushes inside her. Lily's tight and wet and wonderful, and now Sirius can't hold back a long, deep moan.

Her brow furrows and lips pull into some semblance of a pout. Sirius wonders if he's hurting her, but he's so close that he can't stop now. And suddenly he's buried completely inside of her. It's a glorious feeling, velvety smooth, just as he remembers.

"Alright, Red?" he asks, lowering his mouth to her ear and whispering.

"Yeah, brilliant," she replies, and Sirius can't help but think there is the sound of a wince in her voice.

Sirius pulls back and pushes into her again, slow at first to allow her to get used to him. But soon slightly pained noises morph into deeply pleasured ones, coming from the both of them. Lily meets him thrust-for-thrust, grinding or swirling her hips against him as they make full contact. It's fucking brilliant, this thing she does with her hips. So brilliant that Sirius thinks his eyes could roll back in his head.

Lily brings her palm against his thigh in a stinging _slap_ , urging him harder, faster. And he delivers, thrust for thrust, moan for moan. It's quick rather than slow, and perhaps a little too dirty to be called love making. But, it's _not_ love making. This is shagging, mindless shagging to forget about the war and the evils they've committed this past month. He doesn't love this woman, though she's beautiful and sweet and gentle natured. No, he can love only one person, a man that happens to be sliding onto the bed just now.

The bed dips under Remus' weight first, followed by James'. They're both on their knees, Remus' back against James' front, and James has a bottle of lube in hand. Sirius' stomach churns a bit as he sees James spread it over the length of his hard cock, his thrust into Lily a bit erratic. He looks at Remus, who seems to be eager for James. They're fucking hot together, and Sirius thinks how he'd like to be a part of what they're doing. But he's still getting territorial; Remus is _his_. Sirius can't very well point that out, though, when he's balls deep in James' girl.

Sirius tries to draw his attention back to Lily, whose breath has become staggered and whose insides are beginning to twitch around him. She's almost there. However, he can't fully ignore Remus, or the look on his face, or the way his lips part slightly in bliss, or the way his eyes flutter shut—the look Sirius sees every time he pushes inside Remus.

"Ignore it," he tells himself.

Sirius, in an attempt to get lost in his own shagging, slips two fingers between Lily's folds, stroking her ever so closer to completion.

Suddenly Lily's hand is gripping his shoulder, nails nearly breaking his flesh. He feels her coming around him, and it's his turn to moan as she's calling his name. Sirius sits up, pulling her hips to him and continuing to thrust into her as Lily rides out the after-shocks.

He pauses, however, when he begins to teeter on that edge and pulls out of Lily. Coming inside Lily is a lot different than coming inside Remus, with very serious repercussions. Lily doesn't protest the absence of his warmth, still reeling from her orgasm.

Sirius finds his way to Remus, and at first touch, Sirius is struck by the rightness of it all. This is familiar and comfortable and safe. Sirius is home.

As Sirius finds Remus' lips and begins to tug and bite at the sensitive flesh, Sirius hears a strangled cry from James, can feel James' erratic thrusts through Remus. Whether it is the visual of his two best mates snogging, Sirius will never know, but James comes with an almost-growl. He withdraws from Remus when he finally catches his breath a moment later and curls up with Lily.

Finally Sirius has Remus to himself again. They're lip-locked, intertwined with one another. Remus is oh-so-close; it's written all over his face. Finding his way to Remus' cock, blissfully hard, Sirius gives him a few well-placed, well-timed tugs that sends Remus over the edge. And Sirius doesn't even need to be touched—the sound of his name of Remus' lips is enough— before he's spilling himself against Remus' belly.

Remus and Sirius collapse on the pillows as Lily lays across the bed, James tickling her stomach with barely there touches. And some point not long after—after a few light kisses, and hand holding, and brief exchanges—they fall to sleep.

~*~

Sirius expects their impromptu breakfast to be more awkward than it is the following morning. They walk to the café down the street from his and Remus' flat as if it's any other Thursday, as if what occurred the previous night hadn't happened at all, as if they're not fighting a war and they haven't been damaged. James jokes, Lily scolds, Remus sends Sirius silent commentary on the whole thing, and Sirius comes to James' defense.

Yet no one has a foursome and is completely unchanged by it. Lily gravitates more towards James, smiles at him more frequently, leans against him as they walk. James dotes on her more often than Sirius thought possible even for him. He straightens her scarf, kisses her head, refuses to let her hand go the entire morning. Apparently shagging two other people did nothing but bring them closer together.

And Sirius gets that because he feels it every time Remus accidently knocks knees with him at the breakfast table, or when they reach for the jam at the exact same moment, or when they both—as if they were first class Legilimens—announce that they should be getting back to their flat.

 

"How in the bloody hell do you always end up getting tangled in your coat and scarf, Lupin? For fuck's sake," Sirius scolds in the doorway, half exasperated, half amused.

His hands, deft from years of Quidditch, work to unhook a button that got caught on the sleeve of Remus' jumper as Remus struggles to unwind the scarf from his neck with one hand. It is ridiculous that his boyfriend has gotten himself into his circumstance more than once in his lifetime—and actually on several occasions— and Sirius laughs, shaking his head.

"Maybe it's just so you can untangle me."

He smirks at that, and finally frees Remus from the dastardly clutches of his coat. Ever the gentleman, he slips it from Remus' shoulders and hangs it up along with his own. Remus makes quick work of his scarf and stuffs it into his coat pocket.

"So about last night," Sirius begins, hoping to prompt some response of his boyfriend.

"Bit unexpected. Though not entirely, I guess."

Sirius rests against the back of the couch, folding his arms in front of his chest. "How was James?"

Remus shrugs. "Brilliant, I suppose."

"Brilliant you _suppose_?" Sirius rolls his eyes. "Just every-day-bloke brilliant, or Sirius-Black brilliant."

"Vastly inferior to yourself," he replies, and Sirius knows it's not without humor.

"Seriously?"

Remus takes a step towards him so they hand several inches apart. Wrapping his arms around Sirius' neck, Remus allows their foreheads to bump one another and closes his eyes.

"Can I let you in on a little secret?"

"What's that?"

"After you pine after a bloke since puberty, reality will always fall short of fantasy. Even if he was good."

"Good, because I don't fancy you leaving me for James fucking Potter."

"And what about you?" Remus asks.

"What about me?"

"You shagged Lily," he says slowly, and it sounds a bit pained. "Do I need to start worrying that she's straightened you out again?"

Sirius considers for a moment what he felt last night. Lily was beautiful and brilliant and wonderful, but she wasn't Remus. And the entire time he was shagging her, he kept comparing—comparing and finding that she fell short by no fault of her own. If he learned anything from last night, it's that no one will ever match up to Remus.

"Still a giant, flaming poof," he reassures.

"So we're okay then?"

It's the question that Sirius has wanted the answer to since they woke this morning. Would they be alright after something like that? He felt they were alright. In fact, he felt that by being with someone else, he could better understand what he's not missing out on by investing into a life with Remus.

"I think we're okay. Better than okay." Sirius places a quick, tender kiss on Remus' wonderfully familiar lips.


End file.
